12 Comments
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Marek Nowakowski's avatar

Wonderful piece. I’m a fan of your work

Ben Sixsmith's avatar

Thank you Marek! Very glad to hear that

Harry Hughes's avatar

Thanks for this piece Ben. Death certainly makes one reflect perhaps like nothing else can. Two things linger in my mind (amongst several others).

* Days, even hours and moments of our days, are to be valued, appreciated, respected and enjoyed.

* Memories are made up of a whole variety of things (the special times will always remain special). However, on reflection, the really formative things lie in time spent together doing the ordinary, everyday stuff. That's where the attachment seems to be carefully created.

I think your mum would now give one of her heart warming smiles when watching the many seeds planted with great thought, kindness and intention into the lives of such as you and her family, her friends and the stranger on the street. Soon after your mum died, I wrote down three things that I saw in her that I mustn't forget.

Worship God (in every way) with passion and in particular:

* Actively do what is within your means to help the poor and the oppressed

* Be hospitable, generous and kind

* Respect and enjoy creation

Ben Sixsmith's avatar

Thank you for the lovely comment Harry! You're so right. The memories that stick with us are often the most random unplanned things rather than anything we meant to remember. Beauty thrives in spontaneity.

John O’Flaherty's avatar

See Kingsley Amis’s distinction between the physical and metaphysical hangovers….the 2 are usually congruent, however, in my experience the second tends to last longer.

Ben Sixsmith's avatar

True! I'd forgotten that.

Steve Berman's avatar

Jews have Yahrzeit (candle of remembrance) and placing rocks on headstones. (Despite being Christ followers, we do this for our close relatives). And of course, just watch “Coco.” It’s very human to want a connection to the living world when we are gone.

Ben Sixsmith's avatar

I've never seen the film. Recommended?

Steve Berman's avatar

Sure, see it. It's Pixar...my niece works for them. Watch to the very end. The filmmakers included pictures of their relatives who passed on, in memory of them. Basically the same theme you wrote about here.

Gail Wilkinson's avatar

A very thoughtful piece of writing…. Thanks for sharing your ideas with us Ben. Keep at it!

Gail Wilkinson's avatar

By the way, thanks for recommending ‘The Hall of Uselessness’… It’s proved to be a very good read! I wondered if you have read ‘From the Holy Mountain’ by W. Dalymple. It ties in with the themes of religion, being remembered, etc A wonderful book.